Thursday, 11 August 2011

Seven & a half weeks seems like a very long time ...

Today my husband is currently en route to hospital for his second session of radiotherapy treatment for prostate cancer. He has to have a 10 minute blast each week day for the next 7½ weeks. He is behaving very calmly about the whole situation but I know him quite well. He’s frightened and that fear is, understandably, causing him to behave in more of an irritable fashion than usual. He looks and feels very tired but, at the moment, is insisting on carrying on “as usual” work-wise which, in one way, is laudable but I’m not hugely certain that wearing himself out is a brilliant idea when undergoing a treatment that can, amongst other side-effects, cumulatively make one feel exhausted.

We have been enormously lucky in receiving so many messages of good luck and kind wishes for his well-being from friends all over the world. I’ve been really rather overwhelmed by emails, messages on Twitter, calls from friends.

The sad fact is that I had to remind my husband’s own siblings that it would be good of them to contact him to find out how he’s doing. I received but one response to this reminder … my husband’s older brother emailed to request that I shouldn’t be so condescending. The dichotomy of having so many good wishes from friends makes his family’s behaviour seem all the more aggravating to me. I resolve not to give this too much priority but, that said, I’ve been up all night not only worrying about my husband but also prickling with indignation about his dysfunctional family.

This diary clearly isn’t only going to be about how my husband is coping with his treatment but also how I am feeling about it from day-to-day. I’m not going to spout rude words herein but suffice it to say that it would be a damned sight easier for me to deal with my husband’s fear than it is to navigate nervously around his denial. He and his family are so controlled (and, indeed, controlling) but I must remember that everyone deals with problems in their own way. Just now my husband’s way seems completely alien to me.

If anyone would care to scream on my behalf, I would be very grateful.


  1. It is a long time and it's going to be exhausting for you all, try and think ahead and plan some things to look forward to at the end of it.
    Sorry you and your husband are not getting the support that you should Thinking of you. XX

  2. I am screaming on your behalf. Families can be so frustrating, especially other people's. I never got to grips with my ex-husband's.The diary will help you to scream silently every day. Take each day gently and be kind to yourself.


  3. Families can be so frustrating, I know. It's an old chestnut that you can choose your friends not your family. Our youngest daughter didn't speak to us for over a month over some imagined sleight and then just turned up and let herself into the house as if nothing had happened.
    I have 7 siblings and it's not always an easy ride.
    Take it one day at a time.
    Peace and good vibes, as we would have said in 1969...

  4. Oh, that's shite. I send my love and respect to you. You can't take on board everyone else's problems, you can just deal with things as they arise. People deal with things in different ways and all you can provide is support and love. Power to you, K. X

  5. Oh Karen I'm screaming for you & my best friend whose husband has the same & is also going through the daily dosage of radio & chemo (his family live in Spain). Write down what you need to and remember one day at a time, tis bf's motto it may help x

  6. Wow I didn't realize! HUGS & prayers to you and your family! <3 PS Hope you're feeling better now...!

  7. Hello,
    I have a question about your blog. Please email me!

  8. I send my best wishes to you for your Husbands health and hope all goes well. I know exactly what you mean about family, its so annoying to think that siblings seem so uncaring, I can understand how you feel!
    Hugs xx

  9. Have had some wonderful comments here & on Twitter ... thank you so much.

    Husband's radiotherapy treatment finished at end of last month. We won't know whether it's been effective until next month but, meanwhile, he is looking and feeling better & we're taking both of those factors as very good signs!