Autumn & Winter 2008 were as I'd expected them to be, I experience a feeling of disappearing and by the time the year has turned to that awkward bit of time before Spring occurs, I disappeared into a very dark place indeed. The awkward bit this year was far, far worse than I'd ever been through before. I could see nothing but black and I could find no way out. This time, had it not have been for The Joshua (who needs a Mum who can at least give some semblance of haphazard parenting skills), it would have taken very little ... oh, really SO very little, for me to have become completely agoraphobic. Thank heavens, Josh needs taking to and collecting from school, that he needs to be fed and clothed, that he needs to get to see his friends and that he has to have someone to talk to when he's at home (or, perhaps, more accurately - someone to talk at ... but as he does ask questions later, it's preferable to pay a modicum of attention to what he's saying). So, I've had to keep "functioning" and my business doesn't run itself. And I've kept "going" but with the near constant, underlying and uncomfortable feeling that what I really needed to do was to succumb to the temptation of allowing myself to be where every instinct of my being was telling me that was where I needed to be ... possibly, in order to let it pass?
But, on Sunday, the clocks changed and daytime suddenly became a longer prospect. By Monday, the annual and mysterious recurrence of my BST "human" persona appeared this time with avengeance. And this year, I have a very hopeful feeling about the Spring and Summer months. A crystal ball would be so useful because I don't know what will happen in the forthcoming weeks and months but I'm very optistic about whatever it may turn out to be. It will be right.
Spring fever? Could well be!